Continued from the previous blog.
Then the speaker turned to Tim and
asked him to put up the list of complications. Once they were up,
the speaker asked the PWD if he understood what this could mean. He
was looking away and did not answer. The speaker asked the PWD why
he would not look at the screen. No answer, and the questions was
repeated and repeated several more times until the PWD tried to leave
the room. The speaker stopped him and asked him if he was afraid to
admit he had diabetes. The PWD was seated and the speaker asked Dr.
Tom to join him.
Then he told the rest of us to be
seated, as this was going to become tense. The speaker and Dr. Tom
spent the next almost half an hour asking the PWD question after
question. They waited just long for him to start an answer and
receiving no answer, the next question was asked. Finally the PWD
started crying and he was taken from the room by the speaker and Dr.
Tom. As they were leaving, Dr. Tom asked another doctor to accompany
them. In about 10 minutes the second doctor was back to get my meter
and lancet device. He asked Tim to go through the slides and who
ever could help explain, please do so.
We started covering the slides and the
doctor came back for the rest of the family. Then about 15 minutes
later, they all returned and the speaker explained what had happened
and why they had been excluded intentionally. The PWD asked to speak
and when given the okay, admitted that he had been in denial and his
refusal to accept the diagnosis of diabetes. He then explained that
his first A1c had been over 15 and then tonight having a second A1c
over 14 was even a larger shock. He had figured out how cover with numbers for the meters he had and had used this for tricking those around
him.
He said that with an audience of people
with diabetes, he knew he was going to have a hard time. Then when
the questions started he said the one that had gotten to him was the
question - “What makes you think you are so special that you can't
get diabetes?” He continued that he did not know of any family
members with diabetes, but he had heard of several others that had no
family history of diabetes, but still had type 2 diabetes.
He finished by saying he had now
accepted that he has diabetes and the doctor we call Dr. Tom would be
his new doctor. To help Dr. Tom, the PWD turned to Tim and asked if
he could be a member of his support group and that he would be on
insulin after he saw Dr. Tom on Monday morning. Tim asked for a show of
hands from the group members of our group. It was unanimous and that
was done.
The speaker asked what the reaction was
to this type of intervention. This drew a round of applause and he
held up his hands for silence. He continued that the reason for
privacy he felt was necessary to help the PWD accept his diagnosis
and this was the reason he addressed you when we were done. The
speaker said the PWD has a lot of healing to do and will need the
support group for help.
The speaker said he would send Dr. Tom
a summary of the happenings that could be shared and he would then
send it to Tim for distribution. He said if Tim does not have your
email address and you wish to receive this, please give it to Tim
after the meeting.
The speaker said he would still do the
other session, but felt this evening could be valuable for everyone
and did not want to let it get away. He said to let Dr. Tom know if
they needed the second session. Tim asked when and the speaker said
he could not do it in May, but after that he could. Tim asked for a
show of hands that wanted the second session and it was unanimous for
the first part of June. The speaker said he would check his schedule
and let us know through Dr. Tom, but hoped it would work.
Another 45 minutes of questions and answers and the
meeting ended. Tim obtained the email address for the PWD and let
him know he would receive a notice of all meetings and receive a
summary of all meetings even if he was in attendance. Tim was
surprised when he gave his wife's email, but the PWD said she should
come if she was allowed. Tim called her over and explained the rules
of her being allowed and she agreed.
Several others thought they may not
have given up their emails and felt that with the last two meetings,
they would like to be present for the third meeting. Jessie and her
husband then talked to Tim and told him that he was a distant
relative of theirs and they would like to be informed if there were
future problems with him. The PWD had noticed them and was surprised
to see them. He asked if they had diabetes and we could see his chin
fall when they said yes. He had the presence to ask if he had other
relatives with diabetes. Jessie nodded and then he really broke down
and cried.
Dr. Tom and the speaker both started
toward him and he said that he was okay, but so very disappointed
that he had not known about relatives having diabetes. The PWD asked
Jessie to list those she knew about. She said herself, and listed
five other of their relatives that had type 2 or type 1 diabetes.
Now he was in shock as he had contact with them rather regularly and
he wondered why he had not been told, especially the two with type 1.
Jessie said this was because the entire
family was too secretive and very seldom talked about this with
relatives. The PWD asked his wife if she had heard this, and she
admitted that as a non-family relative, she had heard nothing about
what he had just learned. He said this puts a whole new perspective
on his situation. He said thank you to the speaker and said to Dr.
Tom he would be there on Monday morning. Jessie said she could have
spoken up earlier, but was not sure if she should. The speaker said
that this was a lesson she would need to learn. After another 15
minutes, everyone was leaving.
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