Find Help and Support That Works for You

I normally don't look for ways to disagree with doctors, but recently I could not avoid disagreeing with a doctor. I don't like being backed into a corner and I came out more aggressive than I like, but this doctor was pushing all the wrong buttons and seems determined to create a hostile confrontation.

He was telling me that I should pay more attention to some websites than I do and pay less attention to others. He was pushing WebMD harder than I would ever consider, but I did agree that sometimes there is learning you can do on many websites, even this website.

He selected this topic from WebMD and I said I have already used it for a blog. He agreed and wondered why I had passed on discussing this section.

You need a medical team that knows diabetes inside and out. They could include:

1. An endocrinologist, who has a lot of experience working with people who have diabetes
2. An ophthalmologist for your eyes
3. A pharmacist, who's familiar with all your medicines
4. A registered dietitian, who can give you pointers on what to eat
5. A diabetes educator

Now I said that was done for a reason and he wanted to know why. I tried to evade the question and he was having none of it. I said that the first three could be excellent choices, but the last two could be horrible choices. I said I have had less than pleasant experiences always with number four, and too many relatives that are number five. I do not work well with those in number five that have dual titles or more titles.

Now the doctor wanted to know which dual titles and I said #4 and #5. I then added how inadequate the list was. Where were other professions that a person might need? Now the doctor had to agree and he asked which professions. I said the list could include any of the following:

1. A podiatrist for foot care
2. A cardiologist for caring for you heart and blood system
3. A neurologist for brain and nerve care
4. An urologist for bladder and kidney care
5. A primary care physician for health care
6. Other doctors as the need is there

When I stopped, he insisted on knowing what other doctors I might need. I said possibly a surgeon, an ear, nose, and throat doctor, a hearing doctor, a sleep doctor, and I added that the list could go on. I said that every person is different and could need different doctors as no OB/GYN has been mentioned. A therapist and many other specialists are missing.

Then the doctor asked why I was so against registered dietitians. I said because they have a national organization that is trying to make them the only source for nutrition. I said that most do not have but a bachelors degree and think they know everything about nutrition. Most promote high carbohydrate consumption and low fat food plans and do not accept other meal plans.

As people with diabetes, we need to limit our carbohydrate consumption and increase our fat consumption. Some can increase protein intake, but others should not and most registered dietitians will not accept this.

Since I knew that the doctor I was talking with was a mental health therapist, I said that many people refuse to see a therapist because they often hear this - “It is only in your head.” For people with diabetes, stress and depression can be a fact of life when managing diabetes. The doctor said okay, I may have deserved that, but I also have type 2 diabetes and can understand where you are speaking about diabetes.

If you want more, read my previous blog on diabetes support.

Lessons for People New to Type 2 Diabetes, Part 14

Think about support for the person with type 2 diabetes. This topic is somewhat difficult for many people with diabetes. Not every family is supportive. Blame this on the invisible nature of diabetes. Often teenagers do not understand that a parent has a disease or the hear amputation stories from their friends and believe that you will soon be having that happen to you. The younger children cannot comprehend because they do not see any visible difference in the parent.

This blog shows what can happen when parents know their children well enough to prevent problems until they were older and then drop the news on them. Yes, every family is different. Thought is needed in the method used to discuss a diagnosis with them. This blog discusses a study and what the people with diabetes feels his or her family thinks about their diabetes. This blog covers some useful tips for the person with diabetes and how to manage some situations.

Fortunately, none of our support group members has had support problems. Several of the members know other persons with diabetes that have had family problems and even two that ended in divorce when the spouse would not believe that the other spouse could manage diabetes. Both members believe that the spouse was looking for a way out of the marriage and the other spouse having diabetes gave them that out by developing diabetes.

Self-defeating, self-sabotaging behavior must be human nature or it wouldn't happen with such regularity. No, I am not talking about mistakes, errors, or falling off the wagon in diabetes care, but doing things that are self-sabotaging to your diabetes management. Some of the self-sabotage behaviors include procrastination, self-defeating behaviors, fear, and perfectionism. These were in my blog of August13, 2014. After denial, these behaviors do more damage to managing diabetes than any other activity.

Having said that, bad habits can also do a lot of damage to your diabetes management. Some bad habits are worse than others, but are still bad habits to avoid. A listing of these from my blog on April 29, 2014 include:

1. Not tracking your blood glucose
2. Sloppy carb counting or not correctly recording the carbs consumed
3. Binge eating
4. Skipping meals
5. Emotional eating
6. Avoiding fish in favor of red meat

Completing the list from my blog on April 28, 2014 are the following:

1. Not learning from mistakes
2. Saying that the doctor did not say anything about this
3. Over indulging your sweet tooth

Of these, I hear “Saying that the doctor did not say anything about this” probably more that anything. I admit I do not understand why this seems to be a favorite way that people use to avoid doing something they should be doing.

Now that we are in the holiday season, binge eating, and emotional eating come to the front and these bad habits do a lot to upset the good diabetes management we are accustomed to doing. We are already seeing many people writing about this and encouraging people with diabetes to maintain the good habits, especially during the holiday season. I can only say that we should do our best to maintain control of our diabetes management. Otherwise, the holidays may not be as happy as we want them to be.

Does Your Family Resent Your Diabetes?

Do you really know what the members of your family think about your diabetes? I certainly don't know. Yes, I know what my wife thinks, and I admit that it does not agree with what I think. Our beliefs are at polar opposites and therefore seldom a topic of conversation. My children say very little about my diabetes and this is probably a good thing since they no longer are under the same roof.

Therefore, it was with more than casual interest that I read about this study. Yes, it is a survey study and I discount the findings as being completely accurate. The numbers are still damming and we need to be aware that in many families, there is no support for the person with diabetes. For many, other family members still consider diabetes a lifestyle disease and believe the person with diabetes is to blame.

The statistics from the survey:

#1. 30% think their families blame them for getting diabetes.

#2. 40% say their families are not fully supportive of their efforts to manage their diabetes.

#3. 25% think their families resent them for having diabetes.

#4. 57% say their families don't make sacrifices to make it easier for them to manage their diabetes.

#5. 50% of respondents believe that their families are afraid of their diagnosis.

#6. 25% of respondents believe they are ashamed of their diagnosis.

#7. 55% believe that their families are living a healthier life as a result of their diabetes.

#8. 30% say their families join them in their exercise or physical activities.

This is the really disconcerting fact from the survey. Those who said their families did not fully support them did a significantly poorer job of managing their diabetes than those who said they had their family's support. While it is easy to believe this, I have to ask why they cannot develop good habits and show their families that they can do great management, maybe in spite of their lack of support.

Not covered in this survey is the number of family breakups as a result of diabetes. I don't doubt there are some, but for some this may have just added to the desire to end a marriage. Of the fourteen members in our peer-to-peer group, only five of us are married. Many of the group had lost a mate before diagnosis and just decided to stay single. Only one has divorced after diagnosis and has only stated that diabetes did not cause the breakup. He does admit that the stress of the situation may have been the trigger for the development of his diabetes.

HealthEngage President and co-founder Michael Slage said, "This study shows that many people with diabetes still do not feel that they get the support at home that they need. The diabetes community, both healthcare professionals and the broader industry, need to focus more resources on educating and raising awareness among the families of people with diabetes. HealthEngage has taken a holistic approach to helping users manage diabetes beyond glucose tools. It's time for diabetes efforts to also be inclusive of the families not just the person fighting the disease."